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Sunday Chat: 9 PM ET Pet Loss Support
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Posted by PHCurious on January 02, 2003 at 10:15:31:
In Reply to: Older cat hates idea of 2 new babies posted by catcrazy03 on January 02, 2003 at 02:23:59:
Don't give up hope!! Phantom is reacting quite normally. Remember that not only have two invaders taken over her territory, she's also been ousted from "her" bedroom. This adjustment is going to take more than a week or two.
Typically resident cats take a few weeks to get used to a new addition. Occasionally a cat will instantly take to new kittens, and occasionally it takes several months. But weeks is more the norm, as long as you continue to make the introductions gradual and supervised, just like you have been doing. I understand how worrisome and frustrating it is, and you're probably questioning whether you did the right thing in adopting these two babies. A few months from now, when they're all loving each other and behaving as if they were littermates, you're going to have trouble remembering why you were so worried. :-) Try to keep the likely positive outcome in mind when you're getting discouraged now.
Also remember that these kitties have a lot of work to do, so it's going to take some time. The kittens are very young. They need time to adjust to being separated from their mother (and possibly other littermates) and adjusting to an entirely new world. Phantom needs to learn to accept that she's suddenly a big sister. Then they all need to learn to get used to each other. THEN they need work out a social order and set of rules, e.g., who is boss, who gets first dibs at the food bowl, who gets which shelf on the cat tree, etc... This, too, is a process that will take a bit of time.
To speed things up, keep doing what you're doing. The kittens are far too young and small to defend themselves in case of a real attack by Phantom, so continue to supervise their meetings until you feel confident that the kittens will be safe without you. Also, when you get dressed in the morning or change into bedclothes at night, don't immediately throw your dirty clothes in the hamper. Instead, first rub them on the kittens and on Phantom. This will put your scent on the cats. Smelling you on each other will bring them all comfort.
If it's possible, switch their positions so that sometimes Phantom gets the bedroom while the kittens are in another part of the house. This is to let her know that she hasn't really been banished from the room. It will also give her an opportunity to rub her cheeks against the furniture as a way of leaving her scent in the room.
It sounds as if you're spending a good deal of alone time with Phantom now. Keep doing that and make sure she gets individual attention from you each day.
Overall, keep doing exactly what you're doing. You seem to have a good idea of how to make introductions pleasant and gradual. The more confident you are that this will work, the more confident your kitties will become too. They're taking many of their clues from you, so try to keep a positive attitude. Cats really do adjust to each other.
Please keep us up to date on how they're getting along, and let us know if we can answer more questions or give you any more tips. And congratulations! You're soon going to have a very happy feline family!
PHCurious
Cat Chat Host
:Well let me start by introducing you to Phantom, she is almost 2 now, and has been the only cat in our family. About a week ago we decided to adopt 2 eight week old kittens (brother and sister)naming them Sage and Wolf. From the moment we brought Sage and Wolf home, Phantom has hated the idea of no longer being the "only one". We have been keeping them seperated, keeping the kittens in our bedroom, and moved Phantom's litter, food, toys, etc. into another room. We let them have supervised interaction, and the kittens have become very curious about Phantom, but when they try to approach her she hisses and sometimes attacks them. When this happens we seperate them again. I know that it takes a lot of time for older cats to adjust to the change, but I am starting to get worried that Phantom feels rejected, or might even feel she's being replaced. That is the last thing I want her thinking. She knows I still love her, she purrs when I pick her up, but only when the kittens aren't around. Is double the stress emotionally harmful to Phantom? I'd hate to see Phantom turn into a withdrawn, angry cat everytime the kittens are around. Thank for any advise or help you can provide. If it's at all helpful you may email me at rainbowprizimz03@aol.com. Thanks again!
:Amanda